Well Hung by Lauren Blakely

Author:Lauren Blakely [Blakely, Lauren]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lauren Blakely Books
Published: 2016-09-09T21:00:00+00:00

20

Natalie points to my chin. “Ketchup,” she says. I grab the napkin and wipe it off, then finish my story.

“Then, there was the time we took her copy of Gone With the Wind, cut out the last ten pages, and wrote Rhett leaves. He’s a dick.”

She smacks my thigh. “You were so cruel.”

I nod in agreement as I take a swig of my beer. We’re seated at the counter at The Best Burger Joint in the City on Lexington as we work our way through the jalapeño hot sauce burger bites. “We were the worst. Josie had been dying to read it. She went through a Scarlett O’Hara phase and dressed up as a southern belle for Halloween, complete with a parasol.”

“Oh, that’s adorable. I’ll have to ask if she still has pictures. But you and Nick were terrible. Cutting it up then spoiling the story.” She shakes her head in amusement as she digs into a mini burger drenched in chili peppers.

“My mom sometimes said she thought we were identical, not fraternal, twins since we both were possessed by evil prankster DNA. Anyway, Josie was devastated. She went to our mom and asked, ‘Is this true?’ My mom marched into our bedroom, thrust the book at both of us, and said we were required to use our allowances and purchase not only a new copy, but any other books Josie wanted that year.”

Natalie beams. “Excellent punishment. I guess Josie won that one after all.”

“She did. Ask her what funded her Jane Austen collection, and it was us being little assholes.” I take a bite of a burger. A Spoon song blasts overhead. As I finish chewing, I point upward. “Now this, this is music. Not that Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift stuff you like.”

She bumps my shoulder. “Katy Perry rocks. Taylor Swift is awesome. And don’t even pretend I like the Biebs. I have standards, you musical snob.”

“Thank god,” I say under my breath, teasing her.

“But I still want to know—did Josie ever get back at you for spoiling the book?”

I nod. “Sure did. She exacted her revenge in other ways.”

Natalie lifts her beer bottle and tips it back. “Tell me, tell me, tell me.”

“She doused all our T-shirts in some girlie perfume one morning our freshman year of high school. There was nothing else to wear. We went to school like that.”

Natalie pumps a fist. “Excellent. I’ll congratulate her myself when I see her later. Leaving you and Nick smelling like princesses is the definition of sweet revenge.”

“I smelled quite pretty,” I say in a prissy voice, and that cracks her up. Then my tone darkens. “But I couldn’t stop pranking her. I was a total dick.”

She frowns. “No. Really?”

I nod, ‘fessing up to my misdeeds. “I replaced her shampoo with vegetable oil.”

Natalie’s eyes widen. “You were Satan.”

“The devil incarnate. I made fun of her the next day, too. Couldn’t let it go. Told her she smelled like a greasy salad, which is a simple but awful thing to say to a twelve-year-old girl.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.